Displaying all 11 posts
Lira over 11 years ago | |
NOTE: I am not asking Admins to fix anything, I just want to open a discussion about something that happened to me… A few weeks ago, I get a message from someone asking for a trade. She wanted more than a few of my “nicer” items. I look through her list and I honestly did not want or need anything. I am here to swap away things I don’t wear anymore for things I do want to wear… I don’t want to replace the things that don’t get used. It makes no sense. So, I thank her for messaging me and tell her that I am not interested. But she keeps messaging me and messaging me. She tells me she REALLY wants the items so I agree to settle for some things I like and can see myself wearing (not that I really needed them, but hey I was trying to be nice). I figured if doing this trade will make her so happy..why not? At the end of the day it’s just “stuff” and I am not materialistic. Here are where the problems begin: She keeps getting greedy (asking for free things). She keeps changing our trade. She keeps wanting to add things after our trade is done. She keeps sending me trade requests for one (just ONE) of her lower end items for 5 or 6 items of mine…& even though we JUST finished the trade. When I tell her in the nicest way- No. She gets mad at me! Like what?! Are you serious? After just pestering me for a trade and when I finally do it she chooses to be rude to me when she doesn’t get her way. I don’t even know why I posted this here. I guess I am rather upset that I couldn’t reverse the trade after I found out how rude she was going to be to me after it. I am just glad it’s over. But sadly, she isn’t the only one on here who puts up a front of being nice just to get something for nothing and then be a total B word. Mhmm… :/ It’s really sad to me, I guess that people are so rude- she felt entitled to trade even though she failed to realize that this site is voluntary trading- like all trade sites. Rochester, Minnesota |
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Isabella over 11 years ago | |
Mira, So sorry this has happened to you. Maybe you should put her on your personal “Do not swap list” I’m pretty sure everyone has one and you can break-up with her, you know basically un-friend her, or just delete her messages without reply. I know that last sounds rude but, you should only have to be nice for so long. I know part of being a decent person is to rise above and turn the other cheek but, you only have two cheeks and it seems you have already done that. Just put it behind you as best you can and move forward. Winter Springs , Florida |
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K over 11 years ago | |
This has happened to me before, too. I ended up settling for a crappy swap and have always regretted it. Since then, I don’t let anyone pester me about trades – if they are rude, I just don’t respond. I’ve also stopped being overly generous unless it’s a swapper I hacve a good relationship with – I’ve been very generous with some swappers when they’ve really like something only to find that they are really crappy in return. Really sorry this happened to you! |
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Lira over 11 years ago | |
Thanks ladies. It makes me feel better knowing I wasn’t the only one who this happened to. Rochester, Minnesota |
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K over 11 years ago | |
This has happened to me before, too. I ended up settling for a crappy swap and have always regretted it. Since then, I don’t let anyone pester me about trades – if they are rude, I just don’t respond. I’ve also stopped being overly generous unless it’s a swapper I have a good relationship with – I’ve been very generous with some swappers when they’ve really liked something, only to find that they are really crappy in return. Really sorry this happened to you! |
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User Deleted over 11 years ago | |
I know that’s frustrating. I absolutely, will NOT, swap for anything I do not want, am not watching or is not on my WL. When someone gets upset or frustrated (that’s happened to me before, too) I just stop responding. If you are going to be that immature over a swap, for goodness sake, I have no time for that. Or low ball offers.. do not offer a swap for something you KNOW is more expensive than say a shirt or something silly.. that drives me nuts. Some people have no common sense.. you can’t fix stupid. (unfort!)... my advise would be to just ignore this person or their requests. Deny every single one if it is not something you want.. sorry you had to deal with that! |
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Isabella over 11 years ago | |
Seems like there are several people who this has happened to from time to time. I wonder if anyone has any helpful suggestions on how to deal with some of these issues? Maybe we could open a dialectic about it. Hopefully no name calling or implied insults included? Winter Springs , Florida |
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K over 11 years ago | |
I think the biggest thing is just learning when to say NO and stop responding. Many of us feel bad about ignoring messages or saying no, but we shouldn’t allow others to take advantage of us. If you’re second guessing a swap or user, here are some lines to use” “Thanks so much for the offer, but I just don’t feel it’s right for me right now” “I understand that you really like my item, but unfortunately I just don’t see anything I’d like for it” “It’s not a swap I’d feel comfortable with, I’m sure you understand” “I can’t think clearly about a swap if I feel I’m being pressured. I’ll need a few days to think about it” “I’ll need some time to consider the offer, let’s talk again in a few days. Thanks!” “No thanks” “no.” |
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Lira over 11 years ago | |
Thanks K. I really like that last one- just “no”. Maybe I’ll add “get out of my life…” lol just kidding… Even after I have said no several times she still sends me messages and offers.. I am like “What?” “But I just told you YESTERDAY I didn’t want to swap…...it’s getting creepy to be honest… Rochester, Minnesota |
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K over 11 years ago | |
Thanks K. I really like that last one- just “no”. Maybe I’ll add “get out of my life…” lol just kidding… uggggghhh… just delete the messages. What a pain! If her name starts with a “T” then maybe we’re badgered by the same person! |
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Isabella over 11 years ago Edited over 11 years ago | |
“Maybe Iâ??ll add â??get out of my lifeâ?¦â? lol just kiddingâ?¦” This part is funny, I know none of us would say it but, I have to admit I for one would be thinking it! I know this same thing has happened to me and I just kept saying no as politely as I could but, after about a dozen messages it was getting stressful. The pointers or suggestions are all great and very helpful plus it seems to make it easier to deal with when you know other people have dealt with the same thing. Strength in numbers, maybe? So, anyway thanks K and Mira for the sounding board and open discussion. Winter Springs , Florida |