Displaying all 11 posts
Kristin about 13 years ago | |
After discussing this with several friends, I thought I’d come to the rehash forums to get a few opinions (which I know many of you have no problem giving :)). What’s your take on a woman changing her name when she gets married? And what have you married ladies done? I’m not married yet, but I’ve been giving this issue some thought. To be perfectly honest, I’m not sure yet. I don’t want to build my career with one name and then change it to something else once I’ve established myself (I’ve already published a couple of papers, but that’s a drop in the bucket compared to a researcher whose been working 30+ years). But, if I was to get married before I did too much publishing, I think I would change my name. What are your thoughts on this? Jefferson, Georgia |
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♥Nona♥ about 13 years ago | |
I changed my name and I never had a thought otherwise. I had friends growing up whose parents had different last names and everyone assumed they weren’t married, whatever that’s worth. It ends up being a discussion everytime you introduce yourself and your husband. Just my 2 cents. Dacula, GA |
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Lovemyboys about 13 years ago | |
I personally changed my name. Was not really a big deal to me. However, my sister in-law kept her name as she is a Doctor and she wanted to keep the name that she had as she worked so hard to become a doctor. She does however sometimes hyphenate with her married name, but what most know her as is her Maiden name.. Fort Collins, Colorado |
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Desiree about 13 years ago | |
I kept my name. It’s not even really a feminist issue for me, it just feels weird to suddenly be called something else when I’ve had this name my whole life. If someone calls me by his name, or addresses a letter to Mr. and Mrs. Hisname I don’t get offended or correct them or anything, but legally my name is my name. The only thing that’s weird to me is that I’ll have a different name than my kids (I’m not going to put them through the awkwardness of hyphenating, especially since we both have names that no one can figure out how to spell.) But then, my parents were divorced, so I had a different last name from my mom my whole life, and no one ever questioned that she was my mom. New York, New York |
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jazziesmama about 13 years ago | |
I changed my name, giving up my maiden name completely. I feel like its tradition. If u have your dad walk u down the aisle, if u have bridesmaids, all the same: tradition. It really comes into play when kids come aorund. Who wants a kid with a different last name than mommy or daddy. That sux. Manzanola, CO |
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Desiree about 13 years ago | |
My Mom walked me down the aisle and I had a bridesdude – my cousin. And my hubby’s sister was his Best Woman. So I guess I’m not really one for sticking with tradition! :-P New York, New York |
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DiggaD about 13 years ago | |
Both my boyfriend and I have very culturally significant last names. I don’t think I ever want to give up mine, and he’s cool with that. However, kids… it’s a tough choice. I’m not really too big on hyphenated last names (and our last names don’t sound too great together anyway, or else I’d consider it) but I think they’ll be losing a lot, or at least something, if they don’t get my name. Maybe I’m conceited or something, I dunno. Manchester, New Hampshire |
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kimmykou about 13 years ago | |
I’m not yet officially married but I wouldn’t take his name for different reasons. One I really like my last name it’s short and simple. His is too complicated to pronounce. Two, I plan on joining the police academy and there they stamp your last name in big ass letters on the front of your training uniform. I can’t imagine having his last name stamped across my chest and being referred to as that. Plus it starts with Ab meaning I would be first in everything. Three, his last name reminds me of his father who I hate with a fiery passion. We have two kids and they both have his last name. That was never an issue, he’s the father and I thought they should have his last name. Where I’m from it’s very common to have children and never get married, there’s also a lot of divorced parents to the point where having a different last name to your children isn’t a big deal at all. Have you thought about what would happen if you get works published with his last name and then you end up divorcing? I had a physics teacher in high school who when married her name was Mrs. C (last names have been changed lol) shortly after she got divorced and asked people to refer to her as Ms. U (her maiden name). It seemed like an impossible task to most people because they continued to refer to her as Mrs. C. She wanted to forget about that surname because her marriage ended in bad terms and she was going to re-marry. Luckily I left before she became Mrs. W. Since you are going into a field where your name is going to be remembered, I guess it’s all about what you want to be remembered as. Ms. Kristin Yourlastname or Mrs Kristin Hislastname. |
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beka about 13 years ago | |
I changed my last name and didn’t think anything about it. We did have our son before we were married (before we had even been together for a year!) and when he was born we gave him his fathers last name but we gave him my maiden name as his middle name and didn’t use a hyphen. I believe in the old traditions of marriage and for me I knew that even if (heaven forbid) we were to separate down the road I would not bee remarring. I feel that if you get married then it is part of your path in life and you should embrace it. Chaning your name doesn’t make all of the had work you have done disapear :) it’s just as much a part of your path! Just my 2 cents! where it is hot and cold in the same season!, |
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beka about 13 years ago | |
I wanted to add that my folks got divorced too. My mom remarried keepig her old married name and hyphenating it her new name. where it is hot and cold in the same season!, |
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Patty about 13 years ago | |
I kept my last name, didn’t want to change it. My mom kept hers when she married my dad too. Pittsburgh, PA |