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beka over 12 years ago Edited over 12 years ago | |
hey guys, i am in need of other perspectives on this because it is really getting under my skin. i am going to just give the facts on the situation, or at least try… 1. my bday was on a monday in oct. that weekend my hub said nothing about it nor have the kids make me cards or anything. we were broke and knew even though he was trying to save up money for a gift, that we needed to spend it on regular stuff. 2. we ended up having a big argument the eve before and not talking that morning. he went to work, son went to school, and i had to nanny. the cold shoulders continued all day (i made cupcakes to share with the kids in the afternoon) no cards, song, anything. 3. last week i got a $100 cash gift from the family i sit for. 4. we know that things are going to be extreamly tight in jan with money, i said should we each take $20 and get each other an xmas gift (of which we exchanged nothing since we are broke). he said no he thought we should save it for jan. i agreed and wasnt upset. 5. today is my husbands birthday. he got a $40 cash gift. immediately when i asked what he was thinking about buying he said he assumed we would save it for jan. lame, but whatever. 6. later on when we were talking about the money i compared having to save the bday $ to having to save the xmas $. he doesnt feel it is the same and got mad. he is really mad at me for saying that if he was to get to spend any of his gift that i should get to spend the same amount. simply because it is bday vs. xmas. (mind you we have been together for almost 9yrs and every year i make a big deal out of his bday cause i know it was lame for him growing up). also, i started getting stuff for his gift in august. i had to stop since our finances changed. but last night he said, he didnt want any of it or for us to do anything. he always says that he doesnt like the attention and he is fine with not celebrating his bday, but im not! i love celebrating special things for people. am i right that the money should be treated the same or not? especially since i didnt get any type of anything for my bday. plus, i feel like i just want to give the gifts and have kids make cards anyway cause i will feel horrible if i dont, and i know that it still hurts my feelings that no one did anything (not even a bday hug) for me. where it is hot and cold in the same season!, |
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⤠chanelrox ⤠about 12 years ago | |
I would have hurt feelings as well. And the money thing: I believe y’all should both save or both spend the same amount. I wouldnt think one of y’all could do something different than what you felt the other should do with their share. Blanco, TX |
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DiggaD about 12 years ago | |
Well, I would be hurt. No hugs? Hugs are free, and you definitely deserve them. On the other hand, not that it’s an excuse by any means, but perhaps your hubby is embarrassed about not getting you a gift (which is ridiculous because you two talked about beforehand) and men tend to get really unruly when their pride is on the line. I have no idea why, but nothing they do makes sense after that point, and they start picking fights for no reason. It’s like they want to set you up so that you “no longer deserve” the things they can’t afford to get you :( Good luck girl! I’ve got a hug if you need one! Manchester, New Hampshire |
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Kristin about 12 years ago | |
I’m sorry Beka. I’m sending you a big hug as well. First, it’s totally ok to feel hurt. Have you tried talking to him about it again? Maybe he was having a bad day and unfortunately took it out on you. big hug Jefferson, Georgia |
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beka about 12 years ago | |
d you have a lot of insight and i sure appreciate that! thanks for the support everyone:) luckily we have moved past it… where it is hot and cold in the same season!, |